The Joy of Socks
Posted: Tuesday, April 15, 2008
by Ben Morrish
http://alltruism.blogspot.com
I've just put on a new pair of socks.
Wow, stop right there...that's enough excitement for one day I hear you say.
When a sock is the "right way" out, the rough sticky-out bits where the stitching is are on the INSIDE. Where you foot goes. Those little seam lines are in there waiting to get under or between your toes and make you suffer....sometimes its ok, they don't manage to get into the critical position.
But sometimes, when they know you can't stop to adjust them, they slip into place and every step hurts...it feels like there's a tiny pebble in your shoe, stabbing your foot with every stride.
This problem can easily be avoided by wearing the socks in the way that convention dictates is "inside out". Then your toes get the smooth, soft parts of the sock against them, and the nasty rough seam lines are on the outside, bothering your shoe instead of your foot. Mmm...comfy!
Presumably, the sock wearing convention is the way it is because we humans tend to like tidiness, and perhaps the sight of a sock with the seams sticking out annoys us on a primal, subconscious level.
But socks are almost always worn underneath shoes, so they can't be seen anyway. Usually, we only expose our socks in the privacy of our own homes, and there aesthetics are invariably left aside as we slob around in old track suit trousers and t-shirts stained with the memories of long-lost take-aways.
There's only one reasonable answer to this mystery.
The sock-wearing convention is a conspiracy designed to weaken the human spirit, to weaken our joy and sense of freedom, leaving us vulnerable to the pending attack by Galactic Overlord Xenu. You heard it here first folks!
Make a stand...make a comfy stand....wear your socks "inside out" today!
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)hi ben, what a wonderful idea-a story about something every single person and child can relate to. i remember times of having to stop in the aisle at k mart and take my son's shoe off, fix his sock, and carry on. this was after i had enough whining about it. thanks for sharing with us, best regards, sue thom
You got it, nothing like a new pair of socks to make ones day. They are comfortable, stay up, look good when your trousers go up and they are important mentally. You know, like when your socks keep falling down even though they supposedly never will? Yes, I put mine on and feel great. Thanks!!! best wishes and good job.
I think Ben's must be naturally funny. My son, Ben, is funny. My work partner, Ben, is funny, and here's a funny article about socks by ... Ben! And what is the best part about new socks? You know where both of them are! I'm all for wearing socks inside out. Just hope it doesn't damage my sub-normal, ahem, er, sub-primal brain. Cheers, Hannah
Really cute. I loved it. My husband discovered this some time ago. I complained to him once about having to turn his socks right-side-out every time I did the laundry! He told me to leave them inside-out, because that's the way he wore them. I thought he was just being pig-headed; but now I get it. Way to go! Ben. SEG
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