All True Horoscope - Accurate 365 days a year!
Posted: Saturday, April 19, 2008
by Ben Morrish
http://alltruism.blogspot.com
The All True horoscope includes several advances over the old-fashioned conventional type you can see in many magazines and papers.
Using amazing techniques developed through centuries of patient study by men and women all over the globe, we have been able to not only increase the accuracy to almost 100%, but we have also been able to compress the unwieldy twelve categories of the conventional horoscope into just one!
Sounds impossible I hear you say....but I invite you to see for yourself:
Aripiscetaurariusminicorncersagitleopioirgobra
(Jan 1 - Dec 31)
Events will happen today, and may be good or bad.
Your ability to communicate, if possessed, may help in any interactions with other members of your species, should there be any.
Mars, the red planet, will likely continue orbiting the sun entirely oblivious of your existence, but then Mars, in as much as it can be said to have a personality at all (not much, as it doesn't), is a master of obliviousness.
Venus, the goddess of feminine razor blades, is a fictional entity, but that won't stop the identically named planet continuing to possess a corrosive atmosphere and unpleasant surface temperature!
Stars across the heavens will spectacularly fail to notice you today, as they did yesterday too but don't let them get you down - interactions of phsyical objects a little closer to home will likely be more significant factors in how today pans out for you!
The galaxies will continue their cosmic dance today without taking time-out to offer you vague financial advice or hint that you will meet a tall dark stranger (which, with Saturn ascendant may or - with mighty Jupiter in the House of Fraser - may not, happen today).
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)hi ben, this was a clever, well written article. i have to admit, though, my sign has my characteristics down pat. thanks for sharing with us, best regards, sue thom
LAUGHING OUT LOUD. Thanks for your splendid sense of humor...and your uncanny insights to my day/week/year/life. BRAVO!
Love this one, Ben. I once tried an experiment with my newspaper horoscope where I read EVERY horoscope every day for a week & , sure enough, each one had something on each day that applied to me.Thanks for reading Jean, I'm glad you liked it! A cruel but fun trick to play with horoscopes is to ask a colleague what sign they are and then read out a different sign's horoscope - 9 times out of 10 they'll say "ooh, that's so true!", and then look quite embarassed when you apologise and tell them you read out the wrong one ;-)
Hey, Ben. I loved this! I read the horoscopes only when one happens to be placed in front of me---once a year or so. I also read fortune cookies--more often, as I love Chinese food---but as I leave the restaurant, I only remember what I ate, not what I read. Ha. Loved your article. Sandra
Twinkle twinkle little star, are you truly what you say your are.
Ben, does this mean that when my wife's fortune cookie said "Happiness is sitting next to you" that it could have applied to anyone?!?! OMG!!! Awesome stuff!!
Is it really happens what you write to every one?
I laughed.This is a brill article. Well done.Thanks! I hope it gave you some insights into what will be happening in your day :)
The All True Horoscope is now available as a (very badly made) android app :)
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