Product Advertisements & Labels: What The Terms They Use REALLY Mean
Posted: Wednesday, February 25, 2009
by Ben Morrish
http://alltruism.blogspot.com
Words are funny old things.
People tend to give them whatever meaning they feel like at the time. Especially people who work in advertising.
However, here's what some of the words and phrases commonly used by advertisers really mean:
exotic = "contains mango"
tropical = "contains pineapple"
refreshing = "water-based"
probiotic = "its like a futuristic cyborg fighting against the forces of ill-health. And a bit yogurty"
new and improved = "due to industry regulations, and lawsuits from next of kin, we have been forced to stop using the older ingredients"
indulgent = "this product will make you fat and dramatically increase your odds of a heart attack"
organic = "still covered in mud" in the case of vegetables, and "expensive" in all cases
low-fat = "higher in sugar"
fat-free = "really high in sugar"
Free from artificial colourings and preservatives = "contains artificial flavourings"
may decrease the risk of heart disease = "we have no idea if this might reduce the risk of heart disease, and don't want to find out in case, as we suspect, it doesn't"
designer = "looks odd and costs a lot, but it must be good, right guys?"
rustic = "poorly made using inefficient methods"
real women = "slightly overweight and extremely out of shape"
family pack = "enough for one real person"
Serves 6-8 = "serves 1-2"
Juice Drink = "an almost homeopathic dilution of juice in water, topped off with artificial sweeteners. 9 out of 10 packs will contain at least 1 molecule of juice
May contain Nuts = "almost certainly doesn't contain nuts, unless it is an obviously nutty product, but given that a) people will sue over anything and b) philosophically, nothing is truly certain, we felt it wise to add this disclaimer"
Contents may be hot = "the contents are probably tepid or luke-warm at best, but to protect us from litigious and seemingly rather stupid gits we are obliged to point out that our coffee may be hot. "
Enjoy as part of a healthy diet / active lifestyle = "this product is bad for you, make sure all the other products you eat are much healthier, and do lots of excercise, or this will make you massive"
Value = "you get what you pay for, and you didn't pay much for this did you..."
I hope this serves as a useful guide to translating Advertese into English - if you have any more examples, do pop them into a comment!
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)OMG! So, so true! I love the "serves 6-8". Serves 6-8 what, gnats? I am a fairly thin girl, but that usually means I can eat 1/2 of it! And, you are certainly right about 1/3 of what they write is for people that don't think for themselves or to keep people from suing. Thanks for a great article! Tracey : )
Enjoyed your enlightening article. I believe your disclosures to be true. Thank you.
Wow! BEN! Commendable. These are like eye openers for me. Thanks for those infos. Really good to know all these. God bless you.
Ben,I couldn't have started this wrie better myself ...And to give such helpful info, you are onthe right track with submissions to the Warp! Best Wishes,SELAH
Hi Ben.I'm right with all the others. And "Advertese" ... I love it! Great word.Thanks for a wonderful read.Dianne
Ben,You hit the nail on the head with this one. How true, how true, how true. Thank you for making me smile. I love the drug commercials on TV (you may not be seeing them where you are) but there are so many disclaimers, I question why anyone would want to try them. Better left unsaid, in my opinion. A very small percentage will have some reaction to some drug. It is sad that 50% of the commercial has to be devoted to those reactions. It is sadder still that we have to see or hear drug commercials in the first place . Didn't have to in the old days!Thank you for a good laugh,NancyWe don't get quite the same sort of drug advertisements here (thankfully, it seems!), but we are getting increasing amounts of disclaimers and warnings in our adverts.It's getting almost as ridiculous as the May Contain Nuts warning that seems to be obligatory on EVERY food item these days.I bought some cheese the other day, and on the pack it said "Recipe contains no nuts, produced in a factory that does not handle nuts. MAY CONTAIN NUTS".Well, yes, philosophically we can never make an absolute statement on total nutlessness, but do we really need such a warning on food that is extremely unlikely to contain nuts?Since everything seems to have the warning on, it doesn't even help people with nut allergies. If they avoid all products that "may contain nuts" they will starve!Thanks for reading!
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